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In between

"Life may not be where you want it right now but God is working on it, he's never late but always on time."

A friend recently sent me this and reminded me of the Lords timing. We are people who want to rush everything it's just the American culture to rush to the next thing and move quickly. We even rush the big things that we're waiting on. We're always waiting on something, a new job opportunity, promotion in career, signing papers for a new house, healing, engagement, marriage what ever it is we are always rushing to the next thing. If it doesn't happen when we want it to we grow impatient. We don't know how to wait. . . we don't know how to wait on the Lord. I'm brought back to a time when I was really struggling. This was something I had never experienced so it was really hard for me to process and work through. During this hard time I was presented with an opportunity to move to Canada and help with a church plant. Instead of making the jump to move I chose to spend a week there to help make the decision. There was a lot going on in my head. I thought maybe this was my opportunity to do ministry again. Some time before this I was on this path to become a full time missionary with an organization that I absolutely love. It was not my time and that was a hard season to walk out. I remember the Lord telling me that mine looks different. So maybe Canada is my avenue to ministry.. I absolutely loved my time there, it was a literal dream. I got a glimpse of what life would be like if I chose to move there it was pretty perfect. As I sat with this experience and it was time to make a decision I really didn't know what to do. I was presented with such a wonderful opportunity but I was struggling internally I wanted this healing for myself so bad. I wanted to be healthy enough to go and do what was asked of me but I felt like I couldn't give my yes. I relied heavy on the Lord to give me an answer and I felt like He was telling me that I got to make the call on this one. He would go with me if I went and He would be with me if I chose to stay. I was in this time of waiting for a breakthrough, I was praying, worshipping, and reading. I wanted this internal chaos to end fast. In the middle of my waiting there was a refining a drawing near to the Lord that as I look back I wouldn't trade it for anything. I did not say yes to Canada and it's honestly something I still regret. There have been really amazing opportunities in the in between. I realize during that time there was a wrestling happening with the Lord as I prayed and fought to find that breakthrough. There was still a refining happening as I struggle and wrestled.

I got to go on more trips overseas that next summer and that was pivotal to me learning to wait on the Lord. I had a conversation with someone who reminded me that the Lords timing is perfect. It was funny because it seemed like that was a brand new concept to me, I completely put that thought out of my head. Not once did I think "The Lords timing is greater and I will trust in Him" I saw something that I wanted and sowed into that and as I sought the Lord during those moments of waiting I not once allowed myself to rest in the truth that His timing is perfect, He is on time. He is never late to release what we are waiting for. I stopped wrestling and allowed myself to rest in Him. Instead of sleeping.. (because I couldn't) I would lay in my hammock amongst a team of people sleeping, I prayed and worshipped through the night allowing this Holy rest to refresh me. We have to learn how to wait not how to be patient but how to wait on Him. The in between is a time to draw near to the Lord, for our hearts to be completely His. The waiting can be beautiful if we let it. Waiting does not have to be full of anxiety and turmoil causing us to do it on our own. There is no striving in the waiting only bliss as we draw near to Him.

My Prayer for You

Father, in moments of waiting remind us to draw near to you. You want life in abundance for us and peace is a part of that. We trust you in our time of waiting and accept the invitation to deepen relationship with you. We want to know you more. Thank you for your leading and pursuing every day of our lives. Reveal something new to us as we dive into your word, prayer, worship and just resting in you. Thank you for moments that produce perseverance and character along the way. Thank you for the refining and renewal in the day to day. In Jesus Holy and precious name amen.

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